The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From the Tree | Cycle Breaking

I hate this phrase.

It's always riddled with the negative connotation of being just like your parents.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree because in jumping off it doesn't recognize the system of the tree it's coming from. By ignoring it's roots, it falls and composts, and adds to the tree, making it grow in its negative cycle instead of rolling away and starting its own healthy tree with new ideals and positivity sewn into its roots.

Step 1 of breaking this cycle is recognizing your roots.

Yes, you are like your parents, but maybe not in the ways you think. Take a deep breath, I know you want to resist me on this one, especially if your parents are like mine. However, it is through the recognition of your similarities that you can turn them and imbue them with love, changing them into good qualities that you share.

Let me give you an example.

My father is ingeniously manipulative. He has a natural charm that will convince you to share the world with him. From that point, he will use it against you in ways so clever and conniving, you might even be sure that you were in fact the cause, and he has always just been trying to help you.

When I was in high school, and part-way through college, I was like this as well. I was charming and sweet and then absolutely cutting with what I would say later. I wasn't truly aware of this though. I was angry and blind to it, and if you ever asked me at the time, I would fervently deny being anything like my father.

What's important to realize is that the basis of this shadow is actually being incredibly intuitive. It's the knowing of people that allows you to be able to hurt them. It's the trauma and hurting of people that turns intuitive people into manipulators and pain queens.

Step 2 is simply being able to pause. At each recognition, take a breath, and stop. Then, ask yourself why. The more you train yourself to see your shadow cycle and pause, the more you are able to start a new pathway and divert it from this trained one aka Step 3.

So, it was only in recognizing my shadow, that I was able to turn it into something beautiful and positive.

Now, I would bust into tears if I hurt someone like that. I use my powers instead to understand and help people when I talk with them.

It's important to break these cycles for your own health, which subsequently seeps into the health of everyone around you.

It's especially important to break these cycles if you have kids, so you do not pass it on them.

It's never too late to do that.

Another important activity related to understanding your roots, is to see the kindness and loving qualities you share with your parents or caregivers.

My father is incredibly intelligent and pushed us to question the boundaries of thought. All my sisters and I have that trait, and I am proud of it. My mother, though she struggles from years of abuse, at her core, is one of the most loving and sensitive people I know. I have that too. My grandma is wild, free, fun, and dramatic. I definitely got those. It helps to think of things that way, so that when the difficult ones come up, you can uncover those core good things that have been turned bad for whatever reason and find your way back to the light.