What they don’t tell you

What they don’t tell you - -

Is that in the beginning,

time actually makes it worse

The more time passes, 

The more it becomes real

Those everyday moments,

weigh heavier and become unavoidable,

Silences and pauses become too loud.

What they don’t tell you --

Is that the happy memories hurt more,

in fact, they start to scare you

That each one reminds you

Of what joy and love you had

And how empty it feels 

How much space the one you love took,

and how you have no idea what to do with it.

Every smile becomes a sad one.

What they don’t tell you - -

Is that nothing heals all,

Grief becomes a way of life.

And almost every day is filled 

With gratitude and crying.

That you reach out to touch and laugh with ghosts

And any moment can bring it all back

And break you all over again.

What they don’t tell you --

Is that you are forever changed,

by the lives that touched you

By the love you shared

That you are one.

And when they left,

A part of you left too

And when you stayed,

A part of them stayed too

A new being walks in the place of whomever you used to be.

What they don’t tell you - -

Is that it never gets better

It just gets different.

Any you begin to live your life

Around and with

The loss you carry

And so much love,

Brings so much fear

And god, I wish, 

I could hold you, dear.